“ 3rd edit: To further prove how much I should be fired, I’d like to share a quick story with you. I have stolen every bit of computer shit I can get my hands on. When the security team started cracking down on thieving employees and searching us on the way out, I just started mailing the shit to my house through the mailroom. Then I just started listing shit on ebay and sending it to the buyers right through the same mailroom. I also convinced the mailroom dude that I should’t pay for postage. I’m not proud, but I’m certainly not ashamed.